Category: Isolation
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Let’s do some VERY basic math. (Take 2)
March 7, 2023 Scale -3 to +3 JOB No/little JOB People -3 2 $$$ 3 -3 Creativity 2 2 Anxiety -3 -1 Self-worth 2 -3 Good example for kids 2 -2 Executive Functioning -2 1 Physical Stress -1 3 Happiness 2 -2 Special Interest 1 2 I upset other people Chance to be bullied -1…
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Let down by others, or letting others down?
I may not get out of bed today, at least not until the dogs make me. What’s the point? Seriously. My life, in most ways, is pointless. I believe I have proof. Honestly, life itself seems pointless. It always has, in many ways. What are humans supposed to do, conquer the universe? No, wait. It’s…
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People who don’t actually like you don’t like being treated like they do. (Being awkward.)
“It’s just awkward.” I’ve heard that before. I think it’s the polite way to tell me what I’ve done is not fine, but the intent is not being questioned. Autism=awkward. And, people don’t like awkward. It makes them feel awkward. And, awkward is uncomfortable, and comfort is the preferable state for most humans, at least…
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Forget the “kick me” sign. Just give me the “I’ll be your scapegoat if you ask me” banner.
Need a scapegoat? Just look for your “favorite” autistic (or mentally ill) person. We won’t see it coming, we’ll be happy someone is being friendly, and always think we deserved whatever blame a person puts on us. We will obsess endlessly over what went wrong, and, when we think we’ve figured it out, we will…
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Let’s do some VERY basic math.
Scale -3 to +3 JOB No/little JOB People -3 2 $$$ 3 -2 Creativity -1 2 Anxiety -3 -1 Self-worth 2 -3 Good example for kids 2 -1 Executive Functioning -3 1 Physical Stress -3 3 Happiness -1 -2 Special Interest 1 2 I upset other people -3 1 TOTAL -9 2 It’s not like…
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It shouldn’t be this hard to go out to eat.
One evening with autism . . . Triggers everywhere. My wife and I went out to eat for the first time in a while. We don’t very often, for multiple reasons. But, on a Monday night, it wasn’t too crowded. Still, there were a bunch of “triggers” along the way. By a trigger, I’m referring…
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I’ve lost the desire to see people, and there is nothing wrong with that.
Short post. I’m just not sure if I want to see people anymore. It’s better that way for everyone. However, I can connect through the internet, and maybe I can figure out a way to be useful that way, even with my special interest. I can randomly text some people if I need some mental…
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Losing a friend you thought understood you is not easy.
Losing a friend you thought understood you is not easy. It’s especially difficult when you conclude you lost the friend because she actually did understand you, and you became that annoying, uncaring person you have been trying for your entire life not to be.
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Do people even care? Autism and Suicide.
For much of my life, I’ve wondered if people cared if I’m alive or would be that upset if I died.
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When the highlight of your week is getting shots.
That tiny amount of physical contact, even though it’s accompanied by a sharp object being forced into my body, makes me feel connected to another person.
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Just me rambling, in real time.
Yeah. So, my brain right now. Stayed up too late again. Lots of energy. Feeling good waking up. Wife home today after working in the morning (on Saturday). It’s fine, good, really. Again, lots of energy, brain going well. Well, I’ve yet to take that medicine that slows by brain down some. Helps socially, but…
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It’s a good day when someone acknowledges my struggles.
While it was brief, somewhat in passing, and part of a much longer and substantial conversation, recently someone acknowledged that I had more physical and mental health challenges than most people. Furthermore, he acknowledged that I’d been working on doing the best I could with them for many years. It’s not like I’m looking for…
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The Mysterious Candy Basket, PART 1: Why can’t I get candy?
A STORY ABOUT AN AUTISTIC CHILD At your Preschool, on every Monday, each child gets to go up to a big basket, full of a variety of candy and take a piece (or two, or three, maybe even more). You, however, for reasons you do not understand, find it uncomfortable and confusing to do so,…
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Finally, I have some time alone to think.
For possibly the first time since I was very young, I have almost nothing I have to do for the foreseeable future. I have very few responsibilities, little external pressure, a minimal amount of in-person contact and not very much virtual interaction. Arriving at this place has not been pleasant, and it will take time…
My Autistic Journal 