Category: ASD
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Forget the “kick me” sign. Just give me the “I’ll be your scapegoat if you ask me” banner.
Need a scapegoat? Just look for your “favorite” autistic (or mentally ill) person. We won’t see it coming, we’ll be happy someone is being friendly, and always think we deserved whatever blame a person puts on us. We will obsess endlessly over what went wrong, and, when we think we’ve figured it out, we will…
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Here’s how my days often have ended this year.
It’s 4am. My day, in many ways, was not terrible, but I’ve been crying off and on for the past eight hours. Not a lot, but just always at the surface. If I get around to it, I’m going to transcribe a recording I made yesterday of myself talking in the car, on the way…
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It’s not my job to fix everything or everyone.
I think this will be one of my shorter posts. It’s not my job to fix everything or everyone. That’s it! I’m a work in progress, so I’ll mess up. Please be patient with your autistic family and friends. Thank you.
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An atypical stroll with my wife: another chance for communication malfunctions.
My wife and I started walking during the pandemic, a habit we continue. It’s a good thing, and I get frustrated when we can’t. We aim for daily, and usually do at least five days of the week. We’ve walked in the dark, in the rain, and during beautiful sunsets on perfect days. It’s a…
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A quick shoutout to my peeps, known and unknown.
Thank you for helping me on my journey. I don’t know who most of you are, but the few comments I get are encouraging, and we all need encouragement. My brain tries to see everything as significant, part of a larger system that connects to an even larger, all-encompassing one, and, while that can be…
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On “labelling,” PART 3. Conclusion: a big autistic mistake?
For at least as many times as there have been days in my life, I have forgotten a simple truth: not everyone perceives the world as I do. A common trait, if not a defining one in autism, is not being able to understand what most people instinctively know about human behavior and communication. There…
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It’s a good day when someone acknowledges my struggles.
While it was brief, somewhat in passing, and part of a much longer and substantial conversation, recently someone acknowledged that I had more physical and mental health challenges than most people. Furthermore, he acknowledged that I’d been working on doing the best I could with them for many years. It’s not like I’m looking for…
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The Mysterious Candy Basket, PART 2: Back to Square Zero
NOTE: If you have not already, please see Part 1. For the past ten years, the other students have happily gotten candy from the candy basket, while you continue to get none. In your sadness, you sometimes look away and feel like crying. But, you’ve also learned how to trick your brain temporarily into thinking…
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SO MANY IDEAS—a quick update about My Autistic Journal
My brain is fully engaged in hyper-creative mode. That’s fun and exciting but also makes me vulnerable to being more irritated when interrupted by others, irritating when I’m interrupting others, annoying when not interrupted or interrupting, and, in general, it exacerbates certain ASD/ADHD traits. So, it’s a mixed bag. But, there’s usually something good in…
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This is what I wish people would understand about my autism.
These wishes are vital to my well-being and should help you understand me better. Dismissing them is very hurtful. This is true for anyone with a condition, mental or physical, that presents challenges the average person doesn’t face.
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The Mysterious Candy Basket, PART 1: Why can’t I get candy?
A STORY ABOUT AN AUTISTIC CHILD At your Preschool, on every Monday, each child gets to go up to a big basket, full of a variety of candy and take a piece (or two, or three, maybe even more). You, however, for reasons you do not understand, find it uncomfortable and confusing to do so,…
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My version of the famous parable, “The Good Samaritan”
BACKGROUND – THE ORIGINAL STORY “The Good Samaritan” is one of the more famous parables of Jesus, told after he was asked, “Who is my neighbor?” Martin Luther King, Jr. made a long reference to this parable on the night before he was assassinated in his “I’ve been to the mountaintop” speech. The story is…
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Autism and Misapplication of Humor
Here is the pattern: I see someone do or say something, and it makes another person laugh. If the person is laughing, they must be happy. If they are happy, that’s a good thing! I don’t want people to be sad. If I see someone I want to make happy, I do or say what…
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How did I get so popular?
I’m not sure I can handle this. Someone tell me what to do before I ramble on about it on some blog . . .
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Protected: This is why I think you don’t like me.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
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You might as well call me an avocado from Mexico. (“On Labelling,” Part 2)
In my “On Labelling” post, I explained why I thought it would be good if one considers a label to be a diagnosis. Isn’t more information better? Ironically, more information may prove otherwise. Many of my interpersonal catastrophes have an element of – what shall I call it? — excessive data collection (EDC)— as a…
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I don’t want to talk to the teacher anymore.
In the seventh grade, a note on my report card said: “ . . . has not developed the needed skills to work as a part of a team yet. He has ideas but he either tires to out volume the others or he tries to get clever with his ideas (i.e., makes many bathroom…
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My Confusion ≠ Judgement of you
My confusion is sometimes perceived as judgement. It works like this: a person does something I don’t understand, I am confused, I try to figure out what is going on, and that is perceived as a judgement. For example, I might ask, “Why did you do that?” as a way to collect information to process…
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Outnumbered Outsider
According to recent data, 1 in 44 children in the United States have been diagnosed with ASD. (CDC Autism Data). This is up from 1 in 150 in 2000, and when I was a child, I don’t recall ever hearing the word autism. Why this increase? I think it has nothing to do with environmental…
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On “Labelling*” (An Autistic Perspective)
In general, “labelling” a person with a mental health condition tends to be met with disdain. Therapists especially tend to encourage not focusing on labels but on behaviors and symptoms. However, I have tended to argue that I believe it’s not that simple, that behaviors and symptoms are surface problems that don’t allow for a…
My Autistic Journal 