I’m a great person, and everyone loves me and my autistic traits!

Today is the best day! It’s the kind of day that somehow happens when certain celestial bodies line up a certain way. No matter the astrophysics involved, it’s simply a wonderful day.

I can’t begin to explain what today is like. As soon as I woke up, I knew it would be spectacular! In fact, it should be called Autism Day! Everyone can pretend to be autistic. It’s so easy. Here is what you do. Go up to someone and say do or say something perplexing. When they are trying to sort it out, or after they do, or during, say, “just kidding!”

Or, leave them behind. Literally, leave them behind somewhere, especially where it is loud and crowded. Yes. That is the best!

Another incredible option is to not invite them somewhere when everyone else is invited. Make that extremely obvious to them. In fact, if you had a banner that says, “Everyone is invited except for ” it would be perfect. Don’t feel bad; it’s just how life is for some people. Remind them, they are very annoying as well.

Social media is espeically suited for Autism Day. Just be obvious in your trolling of people. And, once you start, don’t stop. Remember, that silence is a form of trolling.

If you are amazingly adept on Autism Day, you can bring back reminders from the past. This is where social media shines even brighter. In fact, make an entire website of previous Autism Days, as a reminder of what you’ve done to others in the past. Repeat the mantra, “I have no room for annoying people in my life” any time you start to feel guilty. That’s not what Autism Day is about. It is for feeling free to experience autism and to help others as well. They can’t if you don’t do this to them! They need your help.

Of course . . . you are “just kidding” because, it’s Autism Day, so you will explain it all later. That overwhelming anxiety for those unsuspecting people is just part of the game. Everyone knows that!

Today is Autism Day. YES. Yes, it is. TODAY, ACTUALLY, LITERALLY . . . Wait, don’t say that word carelessly around me . . .

Just kidding! It’s April Fool’s Day, and that is indeed a great day because everyone can experience autism a bit when people prank them in so many ways.

Postscript: I don’t feel like joking around with or pranking anyone right now, although, my daughter and boyfriend will be here later today . . . Hmm.

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