Dear People in My Universe

Dear people in my universe,

If you think I don’t like you, the odds are you are mistaken. I tend to like people more than they like me.

If you think I’m blaming you for something, I most likely am not. I can sound that way, I know. I’ve been told many times, and I’m trying to do better. I’m not always sure why, but I think it’s more confusion and not realizing what I’m doing. My ADHD makes that a lot worse. So do other factors, so it’s really hard to always know I’m coming across that way.

In searching for answers, a lot goes through my head. Too many people telling me things that go counter my feelings and observations, confuse me. Trying to do things to be helpful that make other people upset is very discouraging. It continually happens. Well, when I’m around people.

I have to sort through it all. That is difficult. It makes me want to hide and never come out. I don’t intend to upset people, and the more I try not to, the more I seem to. It’s very difficult.

Please be patient with me, and I will be more patient with you. Let’s figure it out together, or be miserable alone. Actually, only I will be alone, and that’s not too horrible. But, in theory that is a bad thing, I am told.

I always thought I was a forgiving person. At least, I want to be. I do have a hard time letting go when I think I’ve upset someone. It really hurts and confounds me when people don’t want to talk to me anymore when all I’m trying to do is understand why they are mad at me. The answers often seem so vague and backwards, but that’s probably my fault.

I don’t like people upset in my universe, so maybe that’s why there aren’t many left. They would rather not be upset, either. But, I’m uncertain if they actually saw my universe or not. Confused people tend to run away, and I can relate to that now.

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