Written October, 2022.

First published January, 2023.

An early morning talk with my autistic son, away at college, interrupted my planned article. That’s OK! This one is important.

If you reject an autistic person with autistic children, that rejection will affect the kids. Think about it before you make that choice, and make sure you understand what you are actuallydoing to harm other people.

My son and I try to sort out the world together, but it’s a hard sell when I’ve been rejected, betrayed, and punished by people I thought were my friends (or at least decent people) without any clear or logical explanation. It’s even worse when these people know the same has happened to me from family members, and they use that knowledge to hurt me more.

I’m not saying it’s because I’m autistic, but I wonder what else is actually going on. And, I think that’s a fair question to ask before I can know how to teach my son to make and keep friends, seeing as I apparently cannot. I can’t keep doing this, but maybe he can. Perhaps, he will be giving me advice soon.

Honestly, I’d just love for someone to tell me I’m a horrible person and nobody ever will like me. Then, I could stop worrying about it. In a way, some people already have. That’s what rejection does over time. Yes, that’s the great gift my friends have given me, to tell me I’m not worthy of their friendship. But, at least I know that now, and I hope I can learn from my mistakes.