Today is the shortest day of the year! I feel rather energized and happy, and that’s because I’ve been spending hours working on a major project that has excited me. Furthermore, for many years, this has been a stressful time at my previous job, but that’s not an issue now. Finally, my family situation—siblings and parents—is different. In some ways, it’s worse, but at least there is more clarity. Some very strict boundaries have been drawn, though it has taken decades and come at a high cost. Wishing people would have taken me more seriously feels like a theme in my life. Not long ago, my therapist reminded me that most people don’t think like I do. They don’t go to get help when they need it, for example. In the case of my parents, they didn’t listen to me telling them for two decades that they needed to address some problems. They did, in some ways. But, in others, they did not, and they missed what I was trying to tell them.

On the flip side, I tend to default to concluding all issues must come from me. Am I not the constant in all relationships that don’t go well? Of course, I am. However, as I’ve been told by several people, I shouldn’t assume I’m the one with the “problem,” or that I did anything wrong. That is logical, but how can I know?

It’s way too simplified to suggest that one person gets all the blame, especially in established relationships. I tend to believe people are good, but it’s caused me a lot of suffering when I get confused by how people act around me or others. My inability to understand a person’s motive is often a setup for negative results. It’s quite possible that it keeps me from having good friends more than not having bad ones.

I can say, on this shortest day of the year, that I’m glad this year is coming to an end. The longest day will be in six months, and I hope life is making even more sense by then. It will be, as long as nothing too unexpected or tragic happens. One never knows, but it’s good to feel like the trend is upwards. I don’t have to know anything but that.

At some point, I may post a review of my year, not because it’s that important, except to follow the arc of my journey. Perhaps, that arc will mirror those of others, if not now, then at some point.

My dog is cool. To end, I’d like to mention that on this day, the shortest of the year, I took my dog on a walk, leaving my house at nearly the moment when the solstice occurs. It was not too cold today—cold weather is coming—but it was crisp enough to be energizing. The dog’s energy tends to be infections, and she’s as loyal of a companion as I could ever have.

The day is almost over. So is the year.

My kids all seem happy.

My wife is happy.

I am happy.

I’m enjoying this moment.