I don’t understand means I don’t understand.

For some reason, the more I tell people I am confused or don’t understand, the less they believe me. Do they think I’m using that as an excuse? Maybe it’s the way I say it.

Additionally, when they push back from that, I want to correct them. In other words, I just get more confused while they apparently get more confident.

My sense is that other people can leave a conversation with me feeling confident and like they, for lack of a better term, “won.” Meanwhile, I almost always feel worse and like I “lost” a debate I wasn’t trying to have.

I’m not sure if people do this on purpose. Sometimes, I think they just want to disengage. Well, I know that’s the case when people tell me. Other times, they seem to want to keep the conversation alive just to get in the last word. But, if that last word confuses me, I have trouble letting it go.

Communication always feels like a game to me, thought it’s a more challenging game with some people. Those people may be trying to help, may be trying to hurt, but it’s difficult to know. I do know my intentions, and they sometimes are misunderstood. That is what I don’t understand.

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