Note: this was going to be a second part to F. F. F., but I need to rethink both posts. I’m also getting some data from autistic Twitter friends to get an overall sense of what people refer to as friendship.

Given how my brain is currently, I need to reflect on this some more. The main point of this was to discuss the idea of whether or not my perception was correct. It’s common for autistic people to not understand what friends are or should be, so it creates problems.

If you look at the previous post (I hate December), that will explain more. I’m behind on what I wanted to post, but that’s OK. I don’t need to think about these things right now.

As a reminder, this journal is about a process, a journey, and not one point in time. While it may skew negative at times, that’s not where I want it to end up. Some days are just worse than others. There is much to process. So many things in my life changed right as I was setting this up, and that threw me as well. I decided to keep doing it anyway. I need to do something.

This is a work in progress and far from refined. I cannot have friends right now. I don’t have that ability. Maybe I can someday, but I really can’t think about it too much other than on a very intellectual level. My brain is not working well enough to deal with people. Some of them understand that, I think. If they don’t, maybe they will later. I can’t do anything about it now. I’m sorry, but it’s all I can do to interact with a computer.