
Disclaimer: these are based on my personal experiences involving many people for many years and should not be interpreted as relating to any specific individuals but to non-autistic people in general.
NT stands for Neurotypical, i.e. not ASD (or ADHD).
NT Says: | NT Means: |
---|---|
Yes | Yes, No, Maybe |
No | No, Yes, Maybe |
maybe | maybe, I have no idea but want to end the conversion; I need more information |
later | later, quite likely is a polite (though dishonest) way to say “no” |
I don’t know | I don’t know; I do know but am not telling you. |
secret | only you are being told; you are the last to be told |
You are [nice, kind, great, etc.] | I want to politely tell you that you are not cool enough to be around me other than absolutely necessary. |
That’s cute. You are cute. | You are acting stupidly, but I’m nice enough to make it not sound so mean. |
I want to help you. | You are annoying me, and I’m so nice that I’m going to frame it in a way I look good. |
Fix your problems. | I don’t understand ASD, don’t care about ASD, and you should act more like “normal” people. |
What’s wrong with you. | I don’t understand ASD, don’t care about ASD, and you should act more like “normal” people. |
You are a . . . friend. | If you actually were my friend, you would already know it, and I’d not have to tell you (and you’d not have to ask!) |
Trust me | You actually can trust me; I’ll say this just to win your trust, but I know you are naive and will believe me. |
Everyone knows that you are . . . | I believe that you are . . . |
fine | fine; not fine, but I don’t want to explain it to you |
OK | OK, not OK, but I don’t want to explain it to you |
I don’t want to hurt/upset you. | You are going to get hurt, but I don’t want you to think it’s my fault. |
Be patient. | Be patient so I can figure out a way to sneak away from someone as irritating as you |
I love texting. | I hate every other possible way to communicate with you so much that I’m willing to say I love texting. You are not cool enough to be around me. |
NT Says: | NT Means: |
---|---|
I’ll do my best. | It’s probably never going to happen. |
I’m truly/very/really sorry. | I’m not sorry, but you’ll be less upset if I say that. |
I understand how you feel. | I understand that I don’t want to put up with you any more. |
I’m only trying to help. | Shut up and listen to me! |
Listen to me! | Stop being so annoying and do what I tell you! |
You are unique/special/different. | Please find other friends. |
Everyone likes/loves you. | You are annoying me . . . please bother someone else. |
I know you won’t like this . . . | I have no patience with you, so I’m going to tell you . . . |
You are so creative! | Your interests don’t interest me. |
Wow! | OMG . . . so annoying. |
How are you able to do that? | You have one cool skill, but that does not mean we can be friends. |
Sure | yes, reluctantly; no, go away |
not right now | most likely never |
I can’t . . . | I don’t want to . . . |
What don’t you understand? | OMG, please . . . didn’t you pick up on all my non-verbal clues! |
Stop asking questions! | You are one of the most annoying people I know. |
You like to talk about . . . | I wish you would shut up about . . . |
That’s cool. | I like that. I don’t like that. I like that when other people do that but not when you do! |
I’m sure it will work out. | This is your clue to leave me alone so it will work out for me. |
You are too sensitive! | I can’t help it if you don’t understand me, and I’m not taking time out of my day to explain it any more. |
NT Says: | NT Means: |
---|---|
“Self-care” from a person who has a lot of struggles of their own. | I actually need a break. It’s not personal though I may find you annoying. |
“Self-care” from a person who is typically happy. (I may be jaded about “self-care” from some people.) | I’m not willing to listen to your problems or spend time just being with you. I need to always be doing things and don’t have time to put up with your issues. I come before you, even though I don’t actually need help like you do. |
MORE TO BE ADDED | LATER |
Leave a Reply